Dream weaver

I finally did it. Last night I spent part of the evening with the woman of my dreams. It was unbelievable! It was what I had hoped for and I pray that I'll get to see her again. We have been together before but last night was extra special. As we lay together I looked into her beautiful eyes. I said something that made her laugh and then I wrapped my arms around her and we rolled over together. A little too far as we fell to the floor. We both laughed and then she got up and made her way into the bathroom. She stood at the sink and was looking into the mirror. I could only hope that she was seeing the perfection I saw. Then it happened. This mixture of emotions came over me and I began to weep. She turned and looked at me with concern and asked me what was wrong. I told her that THIS as wrong. This wasn't supposed to be happening. That I knew I was dreaming and I was scared I was going to wake up. She stepped toward me. She was wearing a pair of white flannel pajama pants with lavender flowers on them and a blue t-shirt. She looked so beautiful. She put her hand to my face as I unsuccessfully tried to fight back the flow of tears. She told me that I wasn't dreaming. That this was real. I reached out to pull her to me and hold her in my arms. 

She lied. It was a dream. A very vivid dream. My wife had come to me in my sleep and, for a few short seconds all was right in my world. I begged myself to stay asleep forever. To never wake up from this dream. Even if we suddenly found ourselves feeding rocky road ice cream to polar bears in Alaska while our jet packs cooled behind us under the watchful eye of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or we were tunneling under the Leaf River trying to escape the zombies. It didn't matter what weird dream I had, just as long as my wife was in it. 

I feel for my friends who have lost loved ones and never get these special visitations. I would certainly have them, even if they only last seven seconds. But the impact of these dreams leave me gasping for air all during the next day. I want more than anything to go back to sleep and dream of her again. But who can predict when these dreams come? I even try drinking the same drinks and eating the same foods to see if I can revisit the dreamland that she resides in. Instead I find myself playing cards with John Goodman and smoking crayons. 

A part of me wants to believe that these visitations are a glimpse of another reality. One in which my wife and daughter are still with me. That we are still one happy family. I wish to be able to switch places with the me that resides in that reality so I can be with them again. 

Instead I find myself with my head on a tear soaked pillow with no one's head on the pillow beside me. I again reach my foot over for the reassuring presence of another only to find more emptiness. I bury my head to the echo of screams of unfairness in the room and try to force myself to sleep. But the silence of the room is deafening. 

Tonight I will sleep in hopes of dreaming of this beautiful woman again. And perhaps our daughter will join us. Together we can be a happy family again. If only in my dreams. 

However, you, my dear friend, you have a chance to make your own dreams come true. You have a chance to remember why you fell in love in the first place and let your loved one know it. You have the chance to pull her into your arms, apologize for not letting her know enough how much you love and appreciate her. You have the chance to hold her, to kiss her, to compliment her, to reach your foot over and find her next to you. You have a chance to be that alternate reality that another you longs for.  

Don't let that chance pass you by.