To Tell the Tooth

There are many who scoff at the idea of going to see a dentist when you are not having a problem. I was one of those – until I broke a tooth that could have been saved if I had taken care of it. Aside from a fun tale, nothing good can really come from a broken tooth. Over the last year I have taken care of getting this tooth replaced in several stages. Please allow me to share.
Stage one: When you are trying to replace a bad tooth you have three choices. You can just have the broken one removed. You can have it removed and a bridge put in which is effectively a cap for two of your teeth and a fake tooth between them. Or, you can choose to have an implant. I chose the latter. The surgeon removes the bad tooth and puts a paste in to fill the holes left in the jaw after the extraction. The paste consists of cadaver bone. The thing I remember most about the recovery was the unique post-surgery taste. Then it dawned on me. I taste dead people.
Stage two: Once the dead people paste has set in my jaw and become one with my bone, the surgeon has to cut back into my nicely healed gums and drill what amounts to a post-hole in the bone. A small screw is put in the hole, the gums are stitched back closed and I am sent on my way again. Post-op was less painful than the first – except for in the wallet. The main thing I realized during this recovery is that my tongue will, of its own accord, try to untie the stitches without waiting for the doctor to cut them out himself. My tongue was unsuccessful – but I can now do serious damage to a cherry stem!
Stage three: This is the easiest stage. The surgeon simply cuts the gums and screws in my temporary “Terminator” like tooth. In other words, you can now see the titanium fence post in my mouth. This procedure was much less complicated, but the anesthesia had an interesting effect on me. Evidently, while sedated, my blood pressure spiked a bit and Dr. Thames had to add some medication to regulate it. I awoke in my bed at home with no recollection of how I got there. My wife assured me that I undressed myself even if I did ask her, shortly after I unbuttoned my shirt, how it got unbuttoned. I think she lied to me because at no time did my hands leave my side – that I can recall. I’m not sure what else I did while in this state, but I have been promised that it will not appear on YouTube.
My dentist can now take over. Within the next month I should be good as new. But that’s another story for another time. Needless to say, I am sure it will be worth it. YouTube video and all.