I'm Gonna Love You Forever

Two rights don't make a wrong. That recently invented phrase of mine has been bouncing around my brain for about a week now. I knew it had to be the title of a blog post but I wasn't sure how to put it. What was the blog supposed to be about exactly? Where was my focus and, more importantly, what is it that I want you, my favorite reader, to take from a such a post? I don't write my blog solely for me (although at times it sure feels like it). So if I am to subject you to another of my musings what thought is it that I want you to ponder upon completion of this tome?

Anyone who has known me these past few years or more knows how much I love my Wanda and My Beth. And, yes, I did use the present tense of the word rather than the past. I will always love my family. They were so right for me. A perfect fit. Well, it became a perfect fit after we whittled away a few rough edges. Mine more than theirs. Then came the days when all that was right went wrong. I had my Mrs. Right and we had our perfect daughter. So when I lost them I lost all that was right in my world. 

And then came my new forever. 

I have again been blessed with a Mrs. Right. Well, a soon to be Mrs. Right. And she is blessing me with the opportunity to have two children to call family. So I have been doubly blessed in regards to daughters, or step-daughters if you must. I'm thankful that the girls have a father that still cares for them and I'm very thankful he feels comfortable with my being their step-father. These beautiful girls are the pretty ribbon on this incredible package the Lord has chosen to send me again.  

How is it that you know when you've found the one again? I cannot speak for you. I knew it quickly. But I also remember the night that I turned the corner. While I know that I will forever love my first love, an event that occurred the other evening let me know that my heart will never be the same. You see, I have professed my love to my new forever. I have asked her to marry me and received the response I was hoping for. But I think there was a little concern that she would be compared to the first Mrs. Right. And the other night I guess I did. But in a good way. 

When you lose someone you love it is like a part of you has been amputated. You reach for the limb that once was there only to be reminded that it isn't. And you still feel the ghosts pains of what was once there. But I have to believe (but I haven't asked so I don't know for sure) that there has to be a time when a prosthetic limb becomes so natural that you don't long for what was but focus instead on what is. And you find that you function quite well with the prosthesis. It has become a part of you. 

For almost two years I would climb in my bed and, out of habit, reach my foot over to find my first love. At times, and I remember this very vividly, my arms would literally ache to be holding her. Earlier this week I climbed in bed and felt that same ache. But this time was different. This time they ached to be holding the new forever. And, although we have yet to spend that night together where that feeling can become a reality, we are getting so much closer. 

My new forever no longer feels like a prosthesis. I can't say she ever really did. She brings me the joy that God gave her to bring me. She lights up my world in completely different ways. She has shown me a future that is full of opportunity. She has become someone to share in my faith and to serve with. I have learned so much from her and look forward to seeing what we can get accomplished together. 

But I have determined that she is no longer my new forever. Instead she will just be my forever. And I like that.