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Been to school lately? I have. And I'm not talking about a primary or secondary education. I'm talking about the school of life. Currently I'm enrolled in Grief 201. And I'm learning quite a bit. I'm not quite sure I'm passing but I know I'm not able to withdraw. There have been many chapters I've had to go through. And, depending on what type of grief event you may have experienced yourself, some of the lessons you may have gone through or are going through yourself. Here are some recent lessons I've had to learn:

1. Breathing. This is one of the first lessons we learn. How to breathe again. It may seem natural to most people, and it was once normal to me, but some lessons have to relearned at times. 

2. Developing new routines. Everything you did before that was natural to you gets turned upside down. I no longer call my wife during the day to check in and see how she is doing. I don't check with her before I come home to see if she needs me to pick up anything on my way home. But I haven't learned to not pick up the phone before I realize there is no one home for me. 

3. Learn to fend for myself. Today I actually cooked a meal. Not just dumped contents from a box or a can, but put something together from scratch. I replaced a broken button on two of my dress shirts as well. Some things I've learned are better left to others so I've hired someone to clean my house. But I do at least straighten up after myself. I wash clothes about three times per week and I wash all of my dishes by hand since it would take a month to fill up my dishwasher. 

4. Learn to spend most evenings alone. I'm failing this particular lesson. I try to spend evenings out or with someone for as late as I can so that I'm not in this empty home for too long before going to bed. 

5. Learn to sleep alone. This is a pass/fail lesson. I'm sleeping alone now but I continually wake up and reach across the bed with my arm or foot only to be painfully aware that the other half of the bed is empty. It's honestly difficult to not go look for a tutor for this class! But the hot teacher that taught me how to sleep with another person in the bed with me did such a good job that I can't imagine sleeping next to anyone else. 

6. Learn how to hope, care, and love again. This is the final lesson. This one I'm working on now and I have a number of willing tutors. Don't get me wrong, I will continue to care for others just as I always have. I will continue to hope for a better day each tomorrow I face. And I'll always love. But to hope, care, and love someone like I did before will take some time and probably a miracle or two. 

I know there are many other lessons to be learned that I'm not aware of yet. And I also know that there will be a comprehensive final. Maybe I'll be able to put something together from scratch again. And maybe I will meet with the same success as the casserole I made tonight. If not, then I guess I'll be living off of leftovers for awhile.