Thanks for the memories

I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an early summer day in 1987. The sun was shining brightly and I was spending the day working the dispatch desk in the automotive center at Sears. I stepped inside to bring a ticket from the garage to the front counter when I saw her. My heart leapt. My chest grew tight. My eyes got misty. My palms got clammy. My Wanda was standing there surprising me with a visit. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms squeeze her tight, tell her I love her, and plant a kiss on those soft lips of hers. But alas, I was at work and I had to contain my joy.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. The lights in the room were shining brightly that cold November morning in 1991. A light snow was dusting the window sill of the hospital room. The nurse turned around with my newly born Beth and asked me if I wanted to hold my daughter. My heart leapt. My chest grew tight. My eyes got misty. My palms got clammy. My Beth was in my arms and I planted a kiss on those new lips of hers and told her that I loved her. 

Today, after a long, exhausting, and yet enjoyable trip I pulled into the driveway of my house and pushed the button to raise the garage door. My heart didn't leap. My chest did get tight and my palms clammy. My eyes did more than mist. I wanted nothing more than to take my Wanda in my arms, squeeze her tight, tell her that I love her, and plant a kiss on those soft lips of hers. I wanted to have My Beth jump up to hug me, kiss me on the cheek (she is, after all, forever 15 in my eyes), and tell me that she loves me. But, alas, I can't. And I'm unable to hold the sadness and the grief in. So I let it wash over me and flow out of me in a steady stream of tears. I grab my chest as if to claw the remains of my tattered heart out just to see if it's still there. 

I thank my God for the memories I have and pray they will remain as fresh as the are now (I can still remember what Wanda was wearing that day and, obviously, what Beth was wearing). I thank Him for holding my heart a little longer and I pray that he continue to fill the craters a little more every day. And I look forward to the day I get to see my wife, my daughter, and my savior. I know that my heart will leap again.