Thanks for the memories

I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an early summer day in 1987. The sun was shining brightly and I was spending the day working the dispatch desk in the automotive center at Sears. I stepped inside to bring a ticket from the garage to the front counter when I saw her. My heart leapt. My chest grew tight. My eyes got misty. My palms got clammy. My Wanda was standing there surprising me with a visit. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms squeeze her tight, tell her I love her, and plant a kiss on those soft lips of hers. But alas, I was at work and I had to contain my joy.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. The lights in the room were shining brightly that cold November morning in 1991. A light snow was dusting the window sill of the hospital room. The nurse turned around with my newly born Beth and asked me if I wanted to hold my daughter. My heart leapt. My chest grew tight. My eyes got misty. My palms got clammy. My Beth was in my arms and I planted a kiss on those new lips of hers and told her that I loved her. 

Today, after a long, exhausting, and yet enjoyable trip I pulled into the driveway of my house and pushed the button to raise the garage door. My heart didn't leap. My chest did get tight and my palms clammy. My eyes did more than mist. I wanted nothing more than to take my Wanda in my arms, squeeze her tight, tell her that I love her, and plant a kiss on those soft lips of hers. I wanted to have My Beth jump up to hug me, kiss me on the cheek (she is, after all, forever 15 in my eyes), and tell me that she loves me. But, alas, I can't. And I'm unable to hold the sadness and the grief in. So I let it wash over me and flow out of me in a steady stream of tears. I grab my chest as if to claw the remains of my tattered heart out just to see if it's still there. 

I thank my God for the memories I have and pray they will remain as fresh as the are now (I can still remember what Wanda was wearing that day and, obviously, what Beth was wearing). I thank Him for holding my heart a little longer and I pray that he continue to fill the craters a little more every day. And I look forward to the day I get to see my wife, my daughter, and my savior. I know that my heart will leap again.

Tradition. Tradition!

I love this time of year. From mid-December to mid-January life is full of many family traditions. Some of them have been passed down from one generation to the next for hundreds of years. Some of them are only just beginning. But just what is it that defines a tradition? Can a tradition pick up after being ignored for a year or two? What does it take to start a tradition? A couple of years ago my wife and I started a new tradition by taking my sister’s children shopping for their Christmas gifts. They get to spend a day with their Aunt and Uncle and we get to spend it with them. They start their day with a snack, followed by intense shopping, and then ending with dinner wherever they would like to go eat. They learn about budgeting and about prioritizing, and about the wonders of a peppermint chocolate-chip milkshake from Chick-fil-A. Most importantly, we get to spend time with our nephew and nieces. We get the better end of the deal! Christmas Eve, while my daughter was with us, ended with a reading of the scripture of the birth of Christ in Luke, Chapter 2. She would sleep at the foot of our bed and, unlike most children, we would have to wake her up Christmas morning to open presents. Since she gets to sit at the feet of the one we once read about, I think she has the greatest Christmas day of all now. Not so much for her mother and I. That’s why we have looked for new traditions. We have cruised, gone to a beachside condo, and worked on Christmas day in an effort to focus more on what we have than on what we don’t have. However, we still live with the memories of past traditions. This year, so close to Christmas, the families in Connecticut will have to begin new traditions. I wish them peace. While some new traditions carry a somber feel with them, I still remember other traditions. For example, I remember leaving raisins for Santa’s reindeer when we left Santa his snack before we went to bed. I have to apologize now for any child who may not have gotten what you asked Santa for in the 1970’s. It seems we were about the only family who were told to leave beer and pretzels for Santa, so anyone who got their delivery after us… Well, I hope this explains some things for you. New Year’s traditions usually centered on football and parades for us. It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t get to see the Rose Bowl Parade. This year it takes on a new significance as we have friends whose daughter will be remembered in a pictograph made of roses on the float honoring organ and tissue donors. We are also honored that our daughter will be remembered by a rose with her name used in the making of the float. So, what are your traditions? Don’t have any memorable ones? It’s never too late to start. Just don’t use the beer and pretzels tradition. Santa already has to check his list twice. We don’t want to add to the confusion!