The calendar on the wall in the bathroom (yes, we kept one by her sink to jot notes on) remains on June. I haven't had the heart to change it. My niece came over yesterday and saw the write on/wipe off calendar on the refrigerator that was also stuck on June. She pointed to the date and proudly announced that the 16th was the date. But the 16th she pointed to was THE 16th.
When dealing with grief sometimes we get to broaden our view of life. But other days it pays to narrow it as much as possible. Broadening your view allows you to see the wonderful memories you have built. But if it broadens in one direction, the past, then it must also broaden in the other direction, the future. Remembering the good times in the past will often serve as a reminder that your future will not include any new memories with your lost loved one. So narrowing our view for a little while can help us get through a tough moment. But keeping that focus on just the current day or current moment keeps us from the memories that got us there. So sometimes we have to mix the tears of remembrance with the tears of loneliness. But other times I think it's okay to narrow our focus for a bit. Even if it's narrowing it to a single breath at a time.
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