I'm sorry to say that I sat under the leadership of one pastor for a year and the one thing that I can remember him saying that stuck out more than anything was this: "There are three things I hate in this life and moving is all three of them!"
Anytime you move there are emotions. And the longer you remain in one place the more difficult. The very walls of the house seem to absorb the memories that occurred there. Each trinket you pack up, picture you take down from the wall, piece of paper with crayon writing on it can move you to smiles and quickly to tears.
This old house of mine holds many memories. Mostly good. Two of which were very bad. So moving for me is very bad and very good at the same time. Moving gives me a chance to start afresh. To take the wonderful lessons I learned about being a husband and a father, learn from them, and then try to be an even better husband and better (step)dad than I was before.
Over the past month I have been working on getting my home ready to go on the market. According to the realtor there are some things I need to do to make the house easier to sell. One of those things is to de-personalize the house. In other words, turn what once was a home into a house so that someone else can turn it into their home.
When anyone moves there is a certain emotional equity you will lose. You will not get all of that equity back out of your house when you leave. Memories of lying on the trampoline with my daughter looking up at the stars are merely memories never again to be repeated. Bed time prayers, devotional and Bible reading time are but a distant but deep seated memory. The bed is now bare. No pink comforter to fall asleep on while reading her The Hobbit. No sound of the gerbil running for eternity on the spinning wheel. Those have been memories that I would pick up and look at occasionally and place them right back where I found them. Now "where I found them" is gone.
To say this has been emotional for me is akin to calling Niagara Fall s hill the local creek rolls over. Memories are shaken loose from where they had settled among my daughters clothes, her books, her stuffed animals. Like the gentle stirring of dust lying on undisturbed trinkets upon her shelf, some memories dance in the sunlight with the motes. Still others bring on a thunderstorm. Others offer to help only to find the motes dancing across their faces and activating allergies. How else can you explain the sudden well of tears in the eyes.
Slowly I have packed up the memories. Some have been given away. Others placed in storage boxes for me to go through at a later time. Many have gone to new homes where I pray they will bring joy.
Alas, the emotions for this part of her world are not tied to her room alone as her presence is seen and felt throughout every room in the house. So as I go through the guest room where she stored her games in the closet and the study where she did school, as I move furniture from the room that has seen less living than ever before, while I pack away dishes and even sippy cups, and as I venture into the playroom where she entertained evening interlopers at slumber parties, there will continue to be memories. All of this on the heels of a second anniversary I never wanted to celebrate.
I can get through this. It is for a worthy cause. You see, with every memory that brings on tears there is also a new memory to be made with my New Forever and her girls. They have brought new meaning to my life. The past looked bright with the memories. The future is beautifully illuminated with potential.
My first team did wonders at spreading joy and love wherever they went. Satan tried to put an end to the joy. But what Satan intended for evil God intends for good. My second team has taken the torch and has run with it all for the glory of God.
I thank God everyday for the memories. And I thank him for the memories to come. Because looking back on the past can be fun. But looking at where I'm going brings so much joy to my life. And it's a joy my first forevers have been longing for. For a long time for me.
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