Is it over?

It has been longer between my blog posts than at any other time in the last two years. For those who have kept up with me on Facebook you know why. Preparing for my new forever is consuming my time. And I love it.

I've never been one to question why. I haven't dropped to my knees asking God why He would do this to me or allow me to go through these grief events. But now I must ask Him. Why would you consider this sinner worthy enough to blessed not once, but twice with a love as wonderful as I have? I know what I deserve. The wages of sin are death. But God has given me the gift of eternal life. When does that eternal life begin? It already has. And God has blessed me throughout this Pilgrim's Progress. 

My journey isn't over. My grief is still there. But God has blessed me with a woman who wants to know how best to minister to me when I'm having one of those moments. How cool is that? And how incredible is that woman? I will still have my moments but God has a new forever planned for me and I'm excited to see what this journey has in store for me. 

In conclusion I want to ask one question. And this question goes out to my first forever:

Did you bend God's ear?

Tell Him I didn't need to be alone.

Did you show Him my tears?

Tell Him to make my house a home?

Did you whisper my name?

Like you would in my ear. 

Did you look at my scars?

Tell Him that I needed her near.

Did you tug on his hem?

The way you tugged at my heart

Did you take my pen?

And write her name in the stars.

Did you cry at my pain?

And beg Him to answer

Can you hear my refrain?

I need to know, Did you send her?

Have you seen the beginning?

And tell me, how about the end?

Do you see me winning?

As I've found hope once again.

Did you see one forever?

See it come to a bitter end.

Did you plan this new forever?

Did you bring me love again?

She doesn't love me like you do

She has her own special way

No better or worse than you

I know my new forever is here to stay

There's no way this was chance

And I think those around will concur

So my question to this day still stands.

Did you send her?

How did you find the one?

The one to fill up my heart.

I guess you simply asked the Son

And that is the best place to start.

A woman of beauty and grace you have found

A blessed man I must surely be

And finally from this home comes a sound

As mourning becomes dancing with glee

I've never asked God why.

Why would He let me suffer so.

But now I guess I must try

To wrap my mind around what I know.

I now have a question I seek

One that has been filling my brain

Why did He choose to let me be?

Blessed beyond measure again. 

So, my first forever, let me say

If you've had a hand in my world since you've gone

You've witnessed above as I pray

And you've sent such a beautiful one

As I end this silly little rhyme

I guess I don't have to wonder

So I won't ask you one more time

Because I'm sure that you sent her