Attention! Attention!

I admit it. I've lost it. I've lost the ability to remember things. My ability to focus. Some of it I blame on age. Some of it I blame on not taking care of my mind like I should. Most of it I blame on the loss of my daughter. Regardless of the reason, I miss my brain almost as much as I miss my Beth.

It was a nice brain when I had it. It did a great job of remembering names, faces, dates and obscure details found only in Trivial Pursuit. My powers of observation were keen. My ability to hold numbers in my head surprised even me. I could tell you my wife's Social Security number, my phone number from when my family first moved to Mississippi in 1970 and the five-digit employee number I had when I worked for a major retailer in college 25 years ago.

I'm not sure exactly when I started losing my mind. My attempts at athletic events did a number on my body, but I didn't lose my mind then. My half-decade at USM did not destroy too many brain cells. Even being a parent didn't cause a decrease in mental faculties (although there were times when I felt like it did).

So what do you do when you are facing what must surely be diagnosed as Adult Attention Deficit something or another? How do you turn off all the conversations going on around you and focus on just the one you should be having with your wife? I was told that taking Ginkgo Biloba may help somewhat - if I can remember to take it.

Have no fear, I have found a solution! Since there is no longer any room for memory in my head, I am storing as much of it as I can on my computer. And my smartphone. And my iPad. These devices are handy at helping me remember important dates, names and numbers. I'm afraid that it won't be enough though. Yes, it helps to be able to have a name and phone number stored away for safe keeping, but when I open my address book and look at some of the names there I still have to wonder who the heck that person is and why did I feel it necessary to save their name and number?

Thankfully my smartphone has saved me more than once. I have consolidated my memory into focusing only on how to get at the information I need. This means remembering one or two steps to have access to several memories. With the help of what is essentially a computer on my hip, I can now remember everything I need to get through the day. I literally carry my brain around with me wherever I go. My future is brighter. I have found salvation in a device no larger than a 3-by-5 index card. There is hope for me yet.

Has anyone seen what I did with my phone?

Questions

When my daughter was a toddler she reached that stage in her life where everything was a question. “Why is the sky blue? Why is that man dressed so funny? Why you gotta go to work?” My wife and I swore we would never resort to the answers, “Just because,” or its sister response, “Because I said so!” Eventually she grew out of that stage. Probably because, like most teenagers, she knew it all.
As I begin to top the crest of the middle-age hill I have started to notice that I am asking questions based on what I see around me. Driving through Hattiesburg I wonder, “Why are the push handles on the pull side of the door to Dickie’s Bar-b-que?” I also wonder why they don’t close off the west bound turn lane into Wal-Mart and make westbound traffic turn at the light? Wouldn’t that stop the traffic from blocking other intersections – especially at Christmas time?
My questions aren’t limited to the man-made things either. Sometimes I sit during my quiet time and say to God, “Bugs? Really?” Of course, I know that without bugs we would be missing an integral part of life – characters for Disney movies.
Now, I am just as much to blame for the questions as anyone. I have yet to figure out how I cannot feel my cell phone vibrate when someone calls but constantly feel it vibrate when it isn’t even in my pocket! As I get older I also wonder why I am prone to repeat myself.
I have plenty of other questions. Like, if the metric system is such a good idea, then why don’t we have metric clocks where the entire day is divided into 10 or 100 hours? Or, why don’t we make cars out of rubber? That way, if you hit someone you just bounce off them. And the windshields should all be made out of photochromic material so they would darken in the sunlight and lighten at night.
And what about strollers? Shouldn’t they make the strollers for the adults? The kids don’t want to ride in them anyway. They just want to push them. This would make shopping so much more pleasant for us guys.
I grew out of it when I was a toddler. Does it get any better as I get older? Or will I wonder why I am prone to repeat myself?