You've got a friend in me

As a guy, and maybe even as a woman (I don't know since I've never been one), it is sometimes difficult to lay ourselves bare. To admit that we are weak. To show that pain hurts us as much as the next person. To be vulnerable. The pack mentality sets in. If you expose your weakness then someone is going to pounce on you and cause even more damage. If you don't believe me just ask your husband, boyfriend, brother, or father. They won't tell you. 

Today I faced one of those events that was, as a friend of mine called it, an emotional land mine. I like that term (although I don't like the actual land mine). I had some business to clear up in Wanda's name. As I sat across from the public official I had to face I had to explain that I needed something taken out of Wanda's name and put into mine. One of the legal hoops I have to jump through is showing a death certificate. The actual piece of official paper calls it a certificate of death. In other words I had to prove that my wife was dead. I wanted to rip my chest open, pull out the remains of my heart, lay it on the counter and say, "Here! Look at this heart. Is it not proof enough? Do you not see this lump in my throat, the tears streaming down my face? What more proof do you need?" Yes, Angry Me was bubbling up from the surface and was about to take frustrations out on this poor public servant who was just doing her job. But I throttled Angry Me and simply looked through misty eyes and told her I would be back with the proper paperwork. 

All of this occurred after having lunch and a great visit with a sweet friend. I had, momentarily, been on a high note (well, higher than the normal lows I experience). That faded fairly quickly. Fortunately my business for the day had not ended and my next trip took me to the office of a good friend who basically looked at me and asked me how my day was going. That's when the floodgates opened up. Rather than pounce, however, this man looked at me and told me to take my time, he had all day. Now I doubt he really had all day, but he did give me an hour to talk. And he gave me good advice as well. I figuratively rolled over and exposed my soft side to him and rather than rip me to shreds he rubbed my belly. (Believe me when I say that was figuratively speaking. I wasn't allowing that man, no matter how good a friend he is, near my literal belly. I just wanted to set that straight before going any further.)

The afternoon ended with a quick visit with a former coworker and her son. What made me smile inside the most is that the young man seemed genuinely glad to see me and blushed when I told him how proud I was of his progress in school. After my visit with them I rushed off to my dinner date. Again I found myself showing my aching heart even though I tried to suppress it. And again I was not attacked by a hungry wolf trying to get out of me all they could and leave me tattered and torn. Instead they picked me up and helped bandage my wounds. I invited this wonderful couple over to the house and we sat and visited more. Now the stories were good stories. Good memories. Sure, there were tears. But the fond memories gave me enough strength to go find the paperwork needed to finalize this little bit of business I have to do. 

I have devoted my life to trying to be there for others. I have tried to be a friend to those with few. I have done my best to inspire and motivate. And, yes, I have been abused and taken advantage of more times than I care to remember. But I believe I have gotten where I am in my journey with the help of the friends I have made along the way. And my friends will continue to carry me. If you haven't lived your life in a manner that provides you with true friends then may I recommend that you start today. It will be one of the best investments you can make and I promise, these investments will pay off in the end. They have for me. 

A few of my favorite things

Not too long ago a friend of mine and I were having a conversation about collectibles. He mentioned the various collections he possessed focusing mostly on the authentic documents from some of our Founding Fathers that he had managed to get his hands on. He asked me if I had any collections and I told him of the baseball cards and a few other sports memorabilia that are sitting in a cedar chest at home collecting more dust than they are value. These trinkets are simply reminders of simpler times for me and, would probably bring less than $1000 in a collectible shop. But that collection is no longer growing. My friend then asked me if I had anything else I was currently collecting and it got me to thinking about my most prized menagerie. I began this collection a long time ago but it is my favorite collection of all. Some I have had for over 40 years. The Internet has allowed me to find pictures of some that are no longer in my possession and I’m surprised how many out there are still in near mint condition. All of my collectibles are precious to me for one reason or another. I have had to let a few of my collectibles go over the years and every time I do it hurts me. But I invariably find another to take its place. Like most collections, the more time you spend with them the more enjoyable they are. I would never think of keeping them shoved away in a corner somewhere only to be looked at from afar. I love to show them off on occasion and don’t even mind sharing them with others so that they too can enjoy these objects of my affection. I imagine I will continue to collect until the day I die. How did I grow my collection of memorabilia to the extensive collection it is today? I haven’t found it difficult at all. You just have to know where to look. I’ve picked up a large number of them from my workplace. A number of others have come from the schools I once graced the halls of and trade shows I now attend occasionally. Clubs help considerably. And, most recently, social networking has helped me add to my collection. Some of the pieces I have in my collection may be old enough to be featured in an episode of Antique Roadshow but I treasure them just the same. And I don’t limit my collection to just the antiques. A good many have been made within the last few years and I am sure that there are others waiting to be added to my collection years from now. Yes, I love this collection and have done without many things in my life to be able to add to it. Yes, I would surely like to think that I would even lay down my life to add another to the group. After all, isn’t that what The Bible tells us. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay day his life for his friends. After all, what better thing is there to collect than friends?