Sunday, August 21, 2016

I thought I could, I thought I could

Yes it has been awhile since I've written. Blog posts that focused on the sad came easy. So since I'm happier than I've been in a few years that must be the reason for a blog-less month. Honestly, that is far from the truth. I've obviously found someone else. Someone who I would rather spend my time with than the blogosphere. I paid a hefty price to get where I am but I am happier now. Sharing the weight of grief for 7 years pushed true happiness aside. Hefting the weight of that grief on my own shoulders for two years flushed happiness down the crapper! While there have been happy moments and there has always been joy in the Lord, I haven't truly been able to be happy for almost ten years. 

Ten years. That's a freaking long time. But happiness has returned wrapped up in a beautiful package. And it should be smooth sailing from here now that I'm happy again. Birds are singing. Butterflies dance around me. Flowers are blooming brighter... Yeah, right. 

In legalistic terms my wife and I got married July 30th. In more realistic terms, a merger and acquisition occurred. Two became one, or two, or three. And it all began more or less after the honeymoon. My wife knew that she was getting a gentle soul that loved to snuggle. She knew that my moving in with her would bring joy and peace and contentment to her days and evenings. What she didn't reckon on was that I would also be bringing with me a freight train. You see, on the first morning we woke up together she smiled at me and told me that I snored a little but that she thought it was sweet because she could gently nudge me and I would stop. Fast forward to the next night and I'm suddenly being hovered over by this face two inches from mine as she violently shakes me and a voice I had never heard from her lovely lips came out "KEVIN, you have GOT to quit SNORING." Or words to that effect. I wasn't fully awake so I may be misremembering a little bit. 

No one is at their best when faced with a lack of sleep. It turns out I have not been at my best because I have not been sleeping well for a number of years. Now my beloved is beginning to share with me that pain. And, being the incredible woman that she is she has yet to banish me to the couch. Instead she has gotten up while I've been riding the Polar Express and climbed onto the couch herself. In fact, the only major argument we have had the entire time we have been married is over who gets to sleep on the couch when the little engine that could rounds the bend. And, being the giving person she is the argument has been about who gets to sleep on the couch rather than who has to. 

Like any good business merger there has to be a little give and take. I must believe that we are off to a good start when we both are trying to give rather than take. I'm praying that this will continue for the rest of our lives. Mergers can be painful to all as we adjust to another person's way of living, eating, relaxing, sleeping, or trainspotting. But as we both learn to tell our hearts to beat again we will one day find them beating in rhythm with one another. 

For my dear readers who did not get to attend the ceremony I invite you to watch at least the first ten minutes of it here. But I also encourage you to watch all 34 minutes of the story of hope and restoration we want you to hear. 

https://youtu.be/UN2mX0k1fic


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