Change your stars

It was late spring in 2006 when I learned a very valuable life lesson. A lesson that can only be learned through reflection. My wife had plans for the evening leaving my daughter and me to fend for ourselves.

One of Beth's chores each week was to change out the cage for her pet hamster. While she got him tucked away in his hamster ball, I turned on the television to watch my Cubbies play. After a few minutes Beth came out of her room with the aquarium that served as GusGus' cage.

She asked me if I could help her dump the wood chips outside in the burn pile. So I begrudgingly pulled myself away from the ball game, took the tank from her, and followed her out the door.

As soon as she pulled the door shut behind her we knew we were in trouble. We were locked out of the house.

We tried all of the things you could think of to break in and I am happy to say that my house was secure.

Rather than bore you with details, let's just say that my daughter and I enjoyed some time laying on the trampoline in the backyard and talking. After almost three hours we began to take a moonlight stroll around the neighborhood to keep warm. Halfway through our walk my frantic wife finally drove into the subdivision. She was understandably upset at not being able to reach us. Especially when it looked to her like we were taking an evening stroll without a phone on us.

Before she had a moment to voice her displeasure I gently shook my head. She understood. She still fumed, but she understood.

Upon returning to the house my daughter took her mom in the back room and shared with her the events of the evening. Then she told her the one thing that stood out from our time together. She said, "Mom, he didn't get mad."

When we became parents we felt it was important to discipline for the right reasons. An accident was not a reason for discipline. It was an opportunity to teach. We taught our daughter that we need to take responsibility for our mistakes and clean up after ourselves, but, no matter how hard we try to avoid them, accidents will happen. Locking the door behind her was an accident. We all have accidents. The better of us learn from those mistakes and hope not to make them again.

I did not get angry at my precious daughter that night. Instead I realized one important thing. We all have a decision in life. We can choose to let circumstances change us or we can look to change the circumstances. That night I am glad I chose the latter.