Locking it up tight

Encapsulating. It's not a psychological term that I know of, but it should be. As the Christmas week (which happens to include my wife's birthday, is fast upon me I've decided to practice what I have coined, encapsulating. Currently there is no Christmas or birthday coming up without my wife and daughter. There is only today. There are no memories that will not be replicated. There is only today.

As important events occur I have found that it helps to narrow my focus. It has been my approach for the last several years to focus on the blessings I have and not on the things I don't have. Some days this is easier than others. The more difficult days come around the holidays. Thanksgiving. Birthdays. Christmas. New Years. Valentine's Day. Arbor Day. Ok, maybe not Arbor Day. But sometimes the list includes Tuesdays. In other words, no particular event, just a day that features an emotional tsunami. On days like this I have to force myself to narrow the focus. To encapsulate. 

Encapsulating means to place your focus on the here and now. I don't know which way the wind blows so I can't worry about tomorrow. Or my wife's birthday. Or Christmas. But I can focus on the laundry that needs to be finished. The football game on TV. The friend I'm talking to or texting. The blog post I'm writing. Anything but the future that will hurt when it gets here. 

Have you ever gone to have a shot at the doctor's office or been to the dentist for major work? You know it's going to hurt (or you at least believe it will). By focusing on the pain that is going to come you give the pain a longer life than it actually has. Christmas without my family, or Christmas without your loved one, will include pain. But if you encapsulate, the pain doesn't last as long. You encapsulate the time before the pain. And then you encapsulate the pain. And then you move on. 

It is easier said than done, but it can be done. I'm trying to do it right now as I write this. I'm probably doing it as you read this too. And it's not exclusive to me. You can do it too. Just remember that encapsulating is solely for your emotional state. Don't shut others out. Especially if they are also dealing with the pain of your loss. 

I pray your holidays are wonderful and that you allow yourself to be blessed by others and to bless others. I hope the thought of encapsulating helps you. May God bless you with peace that flows throughout your holiday season.