Respect. There are three ways to get respect from someone. Each one will give you a different type of respect. How you can best use that respect should go a long way in determining how you get that respect.
Earn it. When you earn someone's respect it is not done immediately. Respect that is earned is done so over time. Respect that is earned goes deeper than any other respect. Respect that is earned does not wear out over time. Nick Saban, whether you like him or not, has earned the respect of other college coaches, teams, and even fans. He doesn't win every game but, even if he loses one or even two games in a year you don't hear people yelling for his job. He earned respect by being consistent over the years. Players want to play for him regardless of where he coaches. He recognizes that respect is not a one time thing. Instead it is a lifelong feeling that will one day march him into hall of fame. Earned respect means that making a mistake occasionally is somewhat acceptable. No one demands that you be perfect. They may hope you are, but even when you aren't, the respect doesn't wane.
Command it. Commanding someone's respect is a little different. Respect that is commanded is usually done in an authoritative manner when developing that respect takes more time than you have in a particular situation. Commanding respect can be seen when you explain to a person why you need something done in a particular time or manner. Ordering your food prepared a certain way can be an example of respect that is commanded. By telling your server that you want your steak well done you are commanding respect of that server as a customer. You are about to spend your money with them. You worked hard for that money. You should get what you pay for and nothing less. When you are commanding respect of someone in the right way you can find yourself getting even more than you expected. When you command respect in the wrong way then you will be fortunate to not receive an over cooked piece of jerky. The only thing worse than poorly commanded respect is the third way.
Demand it. Demanding respect, while it is needed on very rare occasions, is the worst way to get respect. Respect that is demanded is the shallowest form of respect you will receive. It is fleeting at best. Demand respect of someone one time you may get what you asked for. Demanding respect of someone continually ensures you will either not get what you want or get more than you bargained for. The dictator of a small country may demand respect from his larger enemy but he shouldn't expect it. A boss who demands respect from her employees will find that she not only fails to get that respect but also has made earning or even commanding respect almost impossible. Employees will never respect someone who demands something of them that they are not given themselves. And any boss who demands respect is not really showing respect to the employees.
Respect. To get it you must give it. Earn it when you can; command it when you must; and never try to demand it.
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