Play the Game Tonight

The remains of the storm had blown through as I prepared for a step in my journey I knew I needed to take but didn't want to. In this year of new firsts I was about to face another. And although I knew I had a network of friends to support me, I let very few know what I was about to do. You see, there comes a time when you get tired of seeing that face. The one that we all possess. And this morning I had spoken with someone else who knew she too would see that face. It almost makes a soul not want to venture out. It is the face of sympathy. The head is tilted slightly as you hear the words, "So, how are you doing?" I didn't want to see that face or hear those words because to do so meant that what I was about to face was as difficult as I imagined it was going to be. 

The event I was about to endure was a worthwhile event. I've attended faithfully for the last 7 years around this time each year. And, one advantage of going to this event was that I would not see the sympathy face since others attending would be focusing on their own losses. 

Today I attended my first Christmas tree decoration of the year. But this tree is unlike any one you will encounter in a home. This tree does not have gifts shoved under the lowest hanging boughs. Instead the gifts are already given and pictures of what once held those gifts are scattered on nearly every branch of this tree. You see, this particular Christmas tree is placed in our local mall to honor those individuals who gave the gift of life to others through the selfless act of organ and tissue donation. Each year the Mississippi Organ Recovery Agency invites donor families to place a picture of their beloved donor on this tree in honor of the sacrifice they made. But the true sacrifice was witnessed on the faces of the dozens of people gathered around this tree. The donors had given what they would no longer need while those gathered around the tree had given what they would love to have back - their loved one. 

It was my hope that the sympathy face would not show up at an event that brought together so many that had lost so much. And, had I only placed one picture on the tree, that's probably what would have happened. But I had a second picture to place this year and the sympathy face came out in full force. And if you've ever experienced an overload of the sympathy face you know that it becomes even more difficult to hold it together. 

Tonight I placed the pictures of the two people I have loved most in my life on this tree. I know that the people whose lives they saved are very thankful that those pictures are there. And I know that Wanda and Beth would be proud of the lives they were able to save. But, being brutally honest here, I wish someone else had stepped up to save those lives. I wish I didn't know as much about organ donation as I did. I wish that I had gotten to know all of the new friends that I have made through organ donation some other way. But I don't get my wish. Instead I get to fight off Angry Me one more time. 

This year, as you think about the things you are thankful for, be thankful for two things specifically. Be thankful that you have your loved ones with you this holiday season. And, secondly, be thankful that there are individuals and families who were willing to make the sacrifice so that others may experience Christmas with their loved ones. For they received the greatest gift - the gift of life. 

And, if like me, you can't be thankful for those things, then I pray that God brings you peace for Christmas. That, and very few sympathy faces.